How I Wish I Were Born (a scary story)

This is a scary story about something scary that happened to me today.

So, last week I had to fill out an application to do an extra thing at my job, and this required having a birth certificate or social security card with me when I turn it in. I didn't get to turn it in last week, though, because I didn't complete it. So for the last five days I have been carrying my birth certificate around in my pocket.

This bothered my mom, but I was sure I would finish the application soon and I would rather carry it around than put it back and then forget it when I actually needed it. I always unzip my pockets when I'm walking around and put my hands in, and sometimes I would freak out and then find it and say, "It's OK! I'm still born!"

Tonight I was at my friend TJ's house because she is leaving in about five hours to go out of state for a year. When I was getting ready to go, I put my hands in my pocket, and . . . no birth certificate! For a minute there I was afraid I had never been born.

Then, I realized I left it on my desk at home because I had finally decided to put it in a safe place. Ha. Born after all.

This would be the end of my tale, except it reminds me of two summers ago when I decided to apply for a job at FedEx.

I went to the application session, taking my original high school diploma. Well, I was very pleased with how prepared I was and how I was one of the first ones done filling out my application. Good impression, right?

Wrong.

As soon as I stepped out of my car into my driveway, I realized what was missing. My diploma. My original high school diploma was at the FedEx building.

So I drove back and thankfully they had apprehended it in the application room and were holding it in custody at security. The facilitators told me where to go and I got it back.

End of story? You'd think so, wouldn't you? But you would be wrong.

As I was going back to my car, I noticed that when they had first noticed it was missing they tried to call my cell phone. Since it was still on silent I didn't answer and they left a message . . . to this:

"HI, this is Asha! You know you're a REDNECK if you mow your LAWN and find a CAR! Leave a message after the beep!"

Funny thing is, they still tried to hire me. But it conflicted with my school schedule so I just said no.


Moral of stories:

It's good to graduate high school.

It's good to be born.

The end!